Once and Again (Chapter 4)

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:: FOUR ::

It was two in the morning, but neither Quinn nor Cole felt like sleeping. A fire was blazing in the hearth. Quinn was nursing a hot cup of cider while Cole was surveying the darkness outside the window.

“I waited that day,” he said, turning around to face her. “I stood right under that tree and waited for you that day. One hour turned to two, and two hours became four, and four hours dragged on to an entire day.”

Tiredly, Cole sat down on the couch beside Quinn. “I wanted so much to start our lives together. I remembered you being brave and asking me to take on the job the previous night, and me loving you so much, knowing that I could never have left you for anything in the world.”

Quinn chuckled self-depreciatively. “I was hardly brave. It nearly broke my heart to tell you to take up the offer. All the while, I was praying you’d stay.”

“And I promised I would. But the next day, when you didn’t show up, I packed up, told my agent I’d changed my mind, and left for New York.”

“How could you leave just like that?” Quinn asked, her expression hurt. “You left simply because I didn’t show up?”

“Pretty stupid of me, I guess.” Cole said ruefully. “But it wasn’t just a simple date. You knew we were going to get married that day. When you didn’t turn up, didn’t even send word, I assumed you’d changed your mind about marrying a man with nothing to his name.”

“After all that we’ve shared, you could think that of me?” Quinn was incredulous.

“I was young and lacked confidence then.” Cole’s eye gleamed. “Rest assured that it will not happen again.”

“I had a severe attack the afternoon we were supposed to meet. My family thought it was because of the excitement of getting married but sent me to a hospital anyway. Kyle was supposed to get word to you, but once it became apparent that I was haemorrhaging due to a brain tumour, all of us rushed immediately to Missoula Memorial.”

“A brain tumour?” Cole repeated, pulling Quinn by his side. “Wasn’t that pretty sudden?”

Quinn snuggled closer to Cole and nodded. “The neurosurgeon said it was very rare for a brain tumour to grow to that size undetected. Chances are, the person would have had several seizures already. But because it was undetected, the moment it attacked, I was in a critical stage. There was no chance of using conservative methods like chemotherapy. In order to save me, they had to operate immediately, removing the malignant tumour and arresting the haemorrhage.”

“Did it hurt?” Cole asked in a pained voice, hugging her tightly.

“It was all in the past...”

“Tell me.” He insisted, his voice unsteady.

Realising that he had to know, had to offer comfort, Quinn nodded. “At first, I was unaware of anything. One moment I was conscious and the next I blacked out. When I regained my senses, I was already lying in the operating room. They injected anaesthetic into me and I lost consciousness again.”

Quinn smiled crookedly at the memory and continued. “When I next awoke, my head was throbbing like jelly in an earthquake. Everything passed by so quickly that I barely had time to realise that I’d nearly lost my life.”

When Cole didn’t make any comments, Quinn tilted her head to look at him. He was parting her hair to see the scars the operation had left on her scalp. The look in his eyes nearly broke her heart. He smiled unsteadily, but his eyes remained sad. “Ironic, isn’t it? That I walked away physically unscathed and lost twelve years of my life instead.”

“Don’t say that, Cole.”

“Why? It’s true. Living life without you wasn’t really living at all, just a routine to get through. When I think of all those years that I spent without you, I...”

“Don’t.”

Cole buried his face in her hair, kissed the scars that were fully healed. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. If only I’d known. If only I’d...”

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have stayed, should have known that something was wrong. Instead, I left you when you needed me most. You must have hated me.” Cole tore his gaze away from Quinn and stared at the fire, a gamut of emotions flashing in his hazel eyes. “All those years, I thought... I thought...”

“... That I didn’t love you, that I’d changed my mind about loving you?” Quinn answered for him.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“That was exactly what I thought,” she whispered, as tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

“Quinn. I never stopped loving you. Never. Not even when I boarded the plane to New York.” Cole turned Quinn so that she sat facing him, and her tears broke his heart. “I thought maybe you were afraid to take a chance with me, afraid of marrying me.”

“I was never afraid, Cole.”

“Not even now?”

“Never, especially now.”

He lifted her off the couch, and with the other hand, dragged a comforter and spread it on the floor in front of the fireplace, and lay her down gently. Silently, he lay down beside her and tenderly kissed away her salty tears. When there were no tears left, his lips made a slow descent down her throat to her collarbone, and nudged away the shirt that covered her skin.

Quinn unbuttoned his shirt hurriedly, needing to feel his warmth. She felt the heat of the fire as he did the same to her, and moaned softly as the heat turned into a different kind, white hot lava that spiralled from within her innermost parts as he sought out places that had ached for his touch so very long. Her own hands were roaming at will. They speared through his hair, stroked his chest impatiently and caressed him gently.

Where her body was soft and inviting, Cole’s was hard and unyielding. Wordlessly, they moved together, caught up in a rhythm of an ancient dance. Cole never felt so powerful before in his life, as he filled her completely as she needed him to, sword to its hilt. Just when the pleasure became unbearable, their sinuous bodies buckled together and the power of their love dragged them into the heart of the night.

*

For the first time in a few days, Cole slept like a baby. Waking up to find Quinn curled up next to him had brought a warmth to his soul, proving that yesterday night had not been a dream. He kissed her shoulder gently to wake her into the new day as the sun sent its first few rays of light through the trees, and she rolled into his arms, as they loved each other into the new day.

“Cole?” Quin whispered into his chest a long while later, where her head had fallen.

“Yeah?”

“I’m hungry.”

Cole took a look at her and gave a lewd grin. “So fast? Good thing I have amazing recuperative powers.”

Quinn giggled and tried to stir, as if to be the first one to make the first move, but found that she couldn’t. Her bones had apparently turned to mush, making it impossible to rise. Finally forcing her body into action, she sat up and rummaged through the rumpled blankets for her clothes. Not finding them, she threw on Cole’s sweater instead, then realised he was watching her.

“What?”

“I can’t believe that you’re with me. After all these years of missing you, you’re finally here.”

“Twelve years too late...” she reminded him.

“Better late than never,” he told her. “It’s a second chance.”

“Remember when I said how fortunate you were to be able to start over?”

“Yeah,” Cole nodded and took Quinn by the shoulders. “I remember. It’s a miracle. A Christmas miracle.”

“Do you think it’ll be the same?” Quinn asked quietly in his embrace, her fingers playing with the hair on his chest.

“No.” Cole replied certainly. “It’ll be much better.”

“So what do we do now?” she asked.

“What we should have done long ago”- he lowered his head to kissed her -“get married in a large church, where there are doves flying, people crying, and a stern priest standing at the altar.”

Quinn let that sink in before asking. “You still want to marry me?”

“I never stopped wanting to marry you. I loved nobody but you, Quinn. I don’t want to lose you again. Ever.”

Quinn felt her eyes fill with tears. She started speaking when his cell phone started ringing.

“Cole, there’s something...”

“What?” Cole pushed her away gently, not seeing the tears in her eyes. “I guess the reception’s clear now. Hold on a sec.” Cole rolled off the mattress and reached out a long arm to grab his phone on the nearby table.

“Cole here.”

Quinn watched him talk into the phone and studied his profile while he spoke business.

This man wants me to be his wife...

For a moment then, her tears nearly ran free. She knew that nothing would be the same again. She would explain everything to him.

But when Cole’s tone got more and more curt over the phone, she frowned a little and tried to hear what he was saying. She only managed to get snitches of the conversation, and when Cole hung up, his expression was grave.

Worried, Quinn asked what was wrong.

“One of my planes met with an accident. An engine caught fire and burned up while taking off.” Cole answered her solemnly.

“Oh no,” Quinn was horrified. “Was anybody hurt?”

“No. Luckily, it was only a cargo plane.” Quickly, he walked to his room and threw a tote bag together. “Listen, Quinn. I’m sorry but I have to leave for a while.”

“Of course. I hope everything’s fine.”

“The police are looking for me. Apparently, they believe it’s a case of sabotage.”

“How horrible!” Quinn exclaimed. “Who could possibly have done this?”

“I’ll tell you when I find out. I have a pretty good idea though.” Cole replied grimly, as he threw on a black bomber jacket. “Remember what we were saying earlier on?”

“Yes. Cole, I...”

“What?” Cole gave her a quizzical look.

She couldn’t go on. Just couldn’t.

“Nothing. Travel safe.”

Cole kissed her hotly on the lips. “When I confirm who did this, I’m going to kill him for separating us, however brief it may be.”

You have no idea, Cole.

“Dig out his eyes for me, Cole.”

He laughed and looked at her tenderly. “I love you, Quinn.”

“I love you too. You’d better get going.”

Cole nodded and gathered up his bags in a flurry of motion. “Now that the snow’s stopped, you should get over to your parents. They must be worried to death.”

Parents. Sky. Cat. Kyle. Michelle.

“I’ll meet you there in two day’s time, is that okay?”

“Sure.”

His lips descended on her the final time and he was gone.

Alone, Quinn gazed at the Christmas tree that looked very bereft without Cole beside it, and cried silently for both of them. Forgive me...

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